Melissa Gilbert was known as cheery “Half Pint” Laura Ingalls on the iconic TV series Little House on the Prairie as a child, but the actress admits she struggled behind her broad smile.

Everyday noises, such as chewing, popping gum, nail clicking, and even hand clapping, would irritate her.

When she was filming sequences for the show on the schoolroom set, “If any of the kids chewed gum or ate or tapped their fingernails on the table, I would want to run away so badly,” Gilbert tells PEOPLE. “I would sit there, feeling absolutely miserable and guilty for feeling so hateful towards all these people—people I loved—and my eyes would fill up with tears, turning beet red.”

It was “a dark and difficult part of my childhood,” recalls Gilbert, 60.

Many years later, she discovered that her intense reactions to certain noises were due to a real neurological disability known as misophonia, a condition in which those suffering from it experience strong and unpleasant emotional, physiological, and behavioral responses to sound and sometimes visual triggers.

“I sobbed when I found out that it was named and that I wasn’t just a bad person,” says Gilbert, who hopes to raise awareness about the disorder via the Duke Center for Misophonia and Emotional Regulation at Duke University’s School of Medicine.

For years, her family dismissed her as a fussy child who “would just glare at my parents, my grandmother, and my siblings with eyes filled with hate,” she recalls. “I honestly believed I was impolite. And I felt so horrible. Shame, a major component of misophonia, refers to the guilt you feel for your fight-or-flight feelings. It is a very isolating disorder.”

Her illness worsened as she approached menopause, and she claims she began whipping herself. “I was more touchy,” recalls Gilbert, who co-founded lifestyle brand Modern Prairie and is married to actor Timothy Busfield. “As the estrogen leaked out, the anger seeped in, and it started to affect me daily with loved ones.”

“I sobbed when I found out that it was named and that I wasn’t just a bad person,” says Gilbert, who hopes to raise awareness about the disorder via the Duke Center for Misophonia and Emotional Regulation at Duke University’s School of Medicine.

For years, her family dismissed her as a fussy child who “would just glare at my parents, my grandmother, and my siblings with eyes filled with hate,” she recalls. “I honestly believed I was impolite. And I felt so horrible. Shame, a significant aspect of misophonia, is the guilt you feel for experiencing these fight-or-flight reactions.

Her children were aware that the mere act of chewing may set her off. “I had a hand signal that I would give, making my hand into a puppet, and I’d make it look like it was chewing, and then I’d snap it shut—like shut your mouth!” remembers the actress. “My poor children have spent their entire lives with me doing this. I did not allow them to have gum.”

Her responses to noises got much stronger as she approached menopause, and she claims she began lashing out. “I was more touchy,” recalls Gilbert, who co-founded lifestyle brand Modern Prairie and is married to actor Timothy Busfield. “As the estrogen leaked out, the anger seeped in, and it started to affect me daily with loved ones.”

Even though she was aware of the condition’s terms, she had no idea there was a treatment available until last year, when she discovered Duke’s Center for Misophonia. “I wrote in at random, saying, ‘I need help. “Please help me,” Gilbert pleads, posting a video about her experience on the center’s website.

Dr. Zach Rosenthal, the center’s director, emailed back, saying, “There is assistance.” You are not alone.” That, she recalls, “was huge.” She discovered that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is an excellent treatment for misophonia, and she completed 16 weeks of “intensive” CBT therapy.

“This is an emotional situation. It’s about self-regulation and self-control,” Gilbert adds, urging people who are suffering to avoid “snake-oil” salesmen who claim to have a cure or prescription for the disease. “With CBT treatment, I discovered I could ride out these waves, but they would not go away. They never leave. But now I have all of these tools to help me be more relaxed and less triggered.” It made me feel in control.”

For example, she learned to identify that clenching her feet is an early indicator that she is anxious. “So as soon as I start to feel it coming, I relax my feet,” she explains. “And once I control my feet for some reason, I can do everything else.”

“Everyone around me doesn’t have to walk on eggshells,” she adds, thanks to the techniques she gained in cognitive behavioral therapy. Last Christmas, she gave her children a unique gift: packets of gum that they could eat without fear of her reaction. “It’s changed my whole life.”