Giving birth is one of the most painful and stressful experiences a person can have. Having others’ expectations placed on you can make everything much more difficult. Continue reading to learn more about this mother-in-law and her expectant daughter-in-law. When Julia was pregnant with her first child, she made it clear from the start that only her husband and mother would be permitted in the delivery room.
Her mother-in-law was enraged when she found out. She couldn’t figure out why her daughter-in-law seemed bothered by her being in the room. She resolved to launch a campaign to persuade her daughter-in-law to allow her to accompany her in the delivery room. “My son, Steven, and daughter-in-law, Julia, are expecting their first child and our first grandchild next month,” she explained.
I believed I had a fantastic connection with Julia, but now I’m heartbroken. Julia has determined that when she gives birth, only Steven and her mother will be permitted in the delivery room. I was startled and wounded by the decision’s unfairness, and I tried to appeal to Julia and my kid, but Julia said she “wouldn’t feel comfortable” with me there. I reminded her that I had been a nurse for 40 years and had seen everything.
“I’ve tried to reason with Steven, but he appears to be afraid of upsetting Julia and will not help,” she continued. I called Julia’s parents and urged them to kindly reason with their daughter, but they hung up abruptly and harshly. Since realizing that I would be barred from the birth room, I’ve felt nothing except heartbreak. Steven told me I could wait outside until Julia and the baby were cleaned up and “presentable.” Meanwhile, Julia’s mother will be able to witness the birth of our grandchild. It’s so unjust.”
“I’ve always been close to my son, but I no longer feel valued,” she said at the end of her letter. I can’t bring myself to approach Julia. I’m being treated like a second-class grandma, despite the fact that I’ve always been supportive and helpful. “How can I persuade them that their decision is unjust and cruel?”
While the mother-in-law sought Prudence’s guidance in her column, an X (previously known as Twitter) user decided to weigh in. The letter was widely circulated and garnered a lot of attention. People told her to forget about it. Prudence, on the other hand, had some counsel for the mother-in-law. “You can’t!” she said. You must not!
You are completely incorrect! I say this in the hope that, after the initial shock wears off, you will be braced and supported by the awareness that you have been acting inappropriately and that you must change. It’s difficult to accept mistakes, but there’s nothing more clarifying than figuring out how to do better.”
“Your daughter-in-law is giving birth, which is a very difficult, painful, and intimate process,” she noted. She has every right to decide how many people she wants in the room for that. It’s not about you. You will be able to visit your grandchild on the day they are born.”
“You will get to be in your grandchild’s life for as long as you live,” she continued. Nothing is taken away from you.
You are not being overlooked. Your daughter-in-law and son are setting a perfectly reasonable boundary, and you should stop arguing with them about it. To be honest, I can see why they don’t want you in the room. But I worked as a nurse! and your response is, “I’m a second-class grandmother.” Please wait in the corridor and read a book while Julia crowns.”